Thursday, November 26, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Good Try.
I recently learned about some sad statistics in elementary school education. And they are probably not even the sad statistics you are thinking of! In school, boys get lots more individual attention from teachers than girls, both positive and negative - including getting called on and getting disciplined. Also, when girls make academic mistakes or get frustrated, teachers tend to say things like "That's okay!" or "Good try." When boys make mistakes, teachers are much more likely to make comments like "Try again!" or "You can do better than that." This is not just a guess that some "humanist" made up, in fact it is based on research in many classrooms across the country. This is sad because it is probably based on stereotyped expectations about what girls can handle (yes: sitting quietly, no: high expectations or criticism), and then it goes on to perpetuate those behaviors and expectations. THANKS PATRIARCHY!
I got really sad learning this, and thinking about specific times that I have been personally affected by these expectations - the meetings that the men in the room dominated, the women who have told me great insights but won't share them in large groups because they don't want to waste people's time, the times I've been ostracized for being outspoken and female, etc. I talked about it with a friend who was a women's studies major in college, and she sympathized but said that she hasn't really felt the effects all that much in her own personal life. A few days later, we were in a class we both have, where we are required to post comments on a class blog. My friend shared that she appreciated it being mandatory, because then she didn't feel bad about thinking that people would want to read her opinion. Why would she feel bad about that? She has good opinions! Could it be that she too has gotten the grand opportunity to internalize sexism?
The patriarchy is so generous - affecting the way you think, and not even taking credit for it!
I got really sad learning this, and thinking about specific times that I have been personally affected by these expectations - the meetings that the men in the room dominated, the women who have told me great insights but won't share them in large groups because they don't want to waste people's time, the times I've been ostracized for being outspoken and female, etc. I talked about it with a friend who was a women's studies major in college, and she sympathized but said that she hasn't really felt the effects all that much in her own personal life. A few days later, we were in a class we both have, where we are required to post comments on a class blog. My friend shared that she appreciated it being mandatory, because then she didn't feel bad about thinking that people would want to read her opinion. Why would she feel bad about that? She has good opinions! Could it be that she too has gotten the grand opportunity to internalize sexism?
The patriarchy is so generous - affecting the way you think, and not even taking credit for it!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
BART Adventures, Part 1
A few weeks ago, I used public transit to visit a friend in San Francisco. A stop after I got on, the train was flooded with people leaving the Berkeley/USC football game. One guy sat down next to me, and his two friends hovered in our row (after I rejected an invitation to sit in one of their laps). We engaged in some semi-friendly chatter, then I turned to my education textbook.
"Hey, what are you reading?" As they all tried to stick their noses in my book, I pretended it was something top-secret. I did this because a) I could tell they were into kidding around, and b) I did not feel like getting into an in-depth conversation about educational policy/my life. "Why are you hiding that?" they asked. "Is it, like, feminist or something?" They seemed to think this was a funny joke.
When I told them I would not hide being a feminist, they figured it would be a great time to go for some "hilarious" "banter" about why women will never be as good as men at running companies (they were all USC business students). These are some things they did when I expressed my lack of amusement:
* assured me that it was okay, because women were better than other things, like mothering.
* explained, with surprise, that they were just joking!
* continued to make more "jokes" about everyone of my gender being inferior/bossy.
THANKS PATRIARCHY!
Here's the thing about me: I like jokes! I often tell them! Even my brother, a professional comedian , occasionally admits that I am funny. I also have nothing against using humor with strangers - joking around can be an easy way to converse. Here's the other thing about me: If you think it's funny to denigrate a large group that I am a part of, especially if you don't know me, that will not make me like you!
Unfortunately, these guys would not stop talking, so I asked them why they thought it would be so funny to insult women to a woman they do not know. Instead of answering or leaving me alone, they went on about how men could do better in business because they did not have to worry about children or emotions. This reminded me: the patriarchy hurts men too! Being the emotional woman that I am, I suddenly felt great sympathy for them, and told them so, for their souls were clearly a little bit dead inside.
Just another day in the patriarchy - gender expectations killing people's souls, just a little bit :)
"Hey, what are you reading?" As they all tried to stick their noses in my book, I pretended it was something top-secret. I did this because a) I could tell they were into kidding around, and b) I did not feel like getting into an in-depth conversation about educational policy/my life. "Why are you hiding that?" they asked. "Is it, like, feminist or something?" They seemed to think this was a funny joke.
When I told them I would not hide being a feminist, they figured it would be a great time to go for some "hilarious" "banter" about why women will never be as good as men at running companies (they were all USC business students). These are some things they did when I expressed my lack of amusement:
* assured me that it was okay, because women were better than other things, like mothering.
* explained, with surprise, that they were just joking!
* continued to make more "jokes" about everyone of my gender being inferior/bossy.
THANKS PATRIARCHY!
Here's the thing about me: I like jokes! I often tell them! Even my brother, a professional comedian , occasionally admits that I am funny. I also have nothing against using humor with strangers - joking around can be an easy way to converse. Here's the other thing about me: If you think it's funny to denigrate a large group that I am a part of, especially if you don't know me, that will not make me like you!
Unfortunately, these guys would not stop talking, so I asked them why they thought it would be so funny to insult women to a woman they do not know. Instead of answering or leaving me alone, they went on about how men could do better in business because they did not have to worry about children or emotions. This reminded me: the patriarchy hurts men too! Being the emotional woman that I am, I suddenly felt great sympathy for them, and told them so, for their souls were clearly a little bit dead inside.
Just another day in the patriarchy - gender expectations killing people's souls, just a little bit :)
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