A few weeks ago, I used public transit to visit a friend in San Francisco. A stop after I got on, the train was flooded with people leaving the Berkeley/USC football game. One guy sat down next to me, and his two friends hovered in our row (after I rejected an invitation to sit in one of their laps). We engaged in some semi-friendly chatter, then I turned to my education textbook.
"Hey, what are you reading?" As they all tried to stick their noses in my book, I pretended it was something top-secret. I did this because a) I could tell they were into kidding around, and b) I did not feel like getting into an in-depth conversation about educational policy/my life. "Why are you hiding that?" they asked. "Is it, like, feminist or something?" They seemed to think this was a funny joke.
When I told them I would not hide being a feminist, they figured it would be a great time to go for some "hilarious" "banter" about why women will never be as good as men at running companies (they were all USC business students). These are some things they did when I expressed my lack of amusement:
* assured me that it was okay, because women were better than other things, like mothering.
* explained, with surprise, that they were just joking!
* continued to make more "jokes" about everyone of my gender being inferior/bossy.
THANKS PATRIARCHY!
Here's the thing about me: I like jokes! I often tell them! Even my brother, a professional comedian , occasionally admits that I am funny. I also have nothing against using humor with strangers - joking around can be an easy way to converse. Here's the other thing about me: If you think it's funny to denigrate a large group that I am a part of, especially if you don't know me, that will not make me like you!
Unfortunately, these guys would not stop talking, so I asked them why they thought it would be so funny to insult women to a woman they do not know. Instead of answering or leaving me alone, they went on about how men could do better in business because they did not have to worry about children or emotions. This reminded me: the patriarchy hurts men too! Being the emotional woman that I am, I suddenly felt great sympathy for them, and told them so, for their souls were clearly a little bit dead inside.
Just another day in the patriarchy - gender expectations killing people's souls, just a little bit :)
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at least women can march in cal marching band. that's progress. i guess they can do o.k. at that because they don't have kids yet.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part is when you tell them you have great sympathy for them because their souls are clearly a little dead inside.
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