Good Try.

I recently learned about some sad statistics in elementary school education. And they are probably not even the sad statistics you are thinking of! In school, boys get lots more individual attention from teachers than girls, both positive and negative - including getting called on and getting disciplined. Also, when girls make academic mistakes or get frustrated, teachers tend to say things like "That's okay!" or "Good try." When boys make mistakes, teachers are much more likely to make comments like "Try again!" or "You can do better than that." This is not just a guess that some "humanist" made up, in fact it is based on research in many classrooms across the country. This is sad because it is probably based on stereotyped expectations about what girls can handle (yes: sitting quietly, no: high expectations or criticism), and then it goes on to perpetuate those behaviors and expectations. THANKS PATRIARCHY!

I got really sad learning this, and thinking about specific times that I have been personally affected by these expectations - the meetings that the men in the room dominated, the women who have told me great insights but won't share them in large groups because they don't want to waste people's time, the times I've been ostracized for being outspoken and female, etc. I talked about it with a friend who was a women's studies major in college, and she sympathized but said that she hasn't really felt the effects all that much in her own personal life. A few days later, we were in a class we both have, where we are required to post comments on a class blog. My friend shared that she appreciated it being mandatory, because then she didn't feel bad about thinking that people would want to read her opinion. Why would she feel bad about that? She has good opinions! Could it be that she too has gotten the grand opportunity to internalize sexism?

The patriarchy is so generous - affecting the way you think, and not even taking credit for it!